Verse 45

Translation

When will that merciful Kishor look at me with His sportive, soothing, ras-full, blue-and-rosy wonderfully amorous lotus-eyes? 45. 

rila Kavirâj Goswâmipâd explains that Sri Râdhâ has sunk into depression and the sakhis are thus consoling Her – “O dear One! Why are you despairing so? He will surely come to see You. You too will be able to behold Him.” Hearing these words Srimati is expressing Her anxiety and Sri Lilâshuk has echoed Her feelings.

Srimati said in despair, O sakhis! Will I ever be so lucky? When will that Kishor see me with His lotus-eyes? I am dying in His viraha; will He ever see me before that?

How is His gaze? It is very merciful and soothing due to prem-ras and shringâr-ras!

Srila Kavi Karnapur has showed the difference between prem-ras and shringâr-ras –

“Prem-ras contains all other ras, just as the sea contains waves. Similarly all types of ras and bhâv are parts of prem-ras. As a result shringâr-ras is part of prem-ras.”

                                  – [Alankâr Koustubh 5.12]

In this context he mentions that some people are of a different opinion.

“keshanchin-mate sri-radha-krishnayoh shringarar eva ras. tan-mate’pi– etad-udaharanang nasangatang shringaro’ngi premagang angasyapi kvachit-udriktata.”

Meaning – “Some people feel that where Sri Sri Râdhâ-Krishna are concerned, shringâr-ras is the main ras while prem-ras is a part thereof. In that case also, my statement still holds good since sometimes the part (shringâr-ras) gains a greater magnitude than the whole (prem-ras).”

While explainings ‘rasa-shitala-abhyam’, Srila Kavirâj Goswâmipâd has written –

‘prem-ras-shringara-rasyoh pravahena shitala-abhyang.’

Meaning- “His gaze is soothing due to the flow of prem-ras and shringâr-ras.”

Shringâr-ras contains hugging and kissing. In prem-ras one only gazes into each other’s eyes. This sort of deep gazing and losing oneself in each other’s eyes is much more relishing and blissful than mere hugging and kissing. Hence the flow of shringâr-ras resides in the stream of prem-ras.

Srimati said, His eyes are blue and rosy. The pupils of His eyes have a slight bluish tinge while the tips are rosy. Moreover His eyes are wonderfully amorous or full of love-sports and forever darting here and there just like a khanjan. His face itself resembles a lotus-flower.

“All glory to Sri Krishna’s lotus-face that reigns supreme in all exultation! The nose, cheek-bones, lips, cheeks, chin and ears are its divine petals, the teeth are its filaments, its sweet smile is the nectar that is scattering fragrance all around, the beautiful eyes are the khanjans, the eyebrows surrounded by the curly locks resemble bumble-bees accompanied by small honey-bees while the beautiful tongue is the wonderful seed-vessel! All glory to Sri Krishna’s lotus-face!” – [G.L. 16.77].

“alakhito gati jiti bijuri sanehar chan-dishi dhavai lochan tanr.”

“His eyes flash like lightning and dart in all directions.”

“e sakhi ata-e na paolo or, kaichhan chit chor choraolo mor”

“Beloved sakhi! His eyes are fathomless. How they stole my heart!”

“janalu abahi koylo mujla hat ata-e se abasha bhelo sob gat.”

“I see that He has me very much under His thumb and my body has become all numb.”

“lochan jugal dore poripur, kohaite boyone kohono nahi phur.”

“My eyes were full of tears, and I could not speak.”

“chalaite charan achal sama bhelo,  kulabati dharam karam dure gelo.”

“I tried to walk, but my feet were rooted. I lost all my honour and sense of dharma.”

“koyolo bipati eto abhari ay,  ha ha abahu na chhodai tay.”

“O! What a trouble I have landed in! Alas! Alas! Now I cannot leave Him!”

“puna kiye achhaye achhu abhilash,  na bujhiye-kohoye ghanashyâm dâs.”

“I still desire for more – poet Ghanashyâm dâs says – ‘I don’t get it.’”

Srimati is humbly thinking – I am an offender, otherwise why did He forsake me? Hence She calls Him ‘karunaikah’ (compassionate); He is kind-hearted, so He may come again.

As a sakhi, Sri Lilâshuk said, when will Sri Krishna, accompanied by Priyâji, look at me?

In the sâdhak state, Lilâshuk is a firm devotee of Sri Krishna and is thirsty for His sweet ras and sweet beauty. In almost all the verses, he has expressed this feeling. In this verse he is thinking humbly – will I ever be so lucky as to relish His beauty and sweetness? Then he remembered that Sri Krishna is immensely merciful and decided – everything is possible due to mercy.

“I regret that I am unqualified, yet I am tempted by Your qualities.”

– [Sri Chaitanya-Charitâmrita.Madhya.1.192]

When we remember Krishna’s mercy our hearts are illuminated with the light of hope. Then we feel ‘âshâbandha^[1]’. (I will surely get Him). But we are also very impatient and cannot bear the delay. This is the state of Lilâshuk. He is saying – when will Sri Krishna glance mercifully at me?

Srila Bhatta Goswâmipâd says – Sri Lilâshuk is now desirous for Sri Krishna’s darshan and he is praying – when will the ras-full kishor Krishna look at me with his lotus-eyes? He is merciful. He won’t be able to bear my sorrow. He will look, but with what sort of eyes? ‘lilambujambhyam’, which means, ‘with eyes that are divinely sportive due to shringâr-ras.’ ‘Leelâ’ means ‘a sport arising out of shringâr-ras’.

‘leelâ lilety-ami havah kriyah shrigara-bhâvja’

Meaning – “’Leelâ’, ‘leelâ’, ‘hâv’ all refer to amorous or ‘shringâr’ movements.” – [Amarkosh^[2]]

His eyes are full of most amazing lâvanya. Also they are ‘ras-shitala-âbhyam’ meaning, ‘they are soothing due to shringâr-ras’. They are ‘neel-aruna-abhyam’ meaning ‘the pupils bear a bluish tinge while the tips are rosy’ and “adbhuta-vibhrama-abhyam” meaning ‘wonderful restless gaze’.

“vibhramo bhranti-havayoh’

Meaning – “a lâvanya that makes everyone forget everything”.

– [Meidnikosh]

Sri Krishna’s eyes bear this very lâvanya that puts everyone in ‘vibhram’ (forgetfulness).

So, His eyes are very soft, very large and full of leelâ-ras.       

Srila Chaitanyadâs Goswâmipâd says – Sri Lilâshuk is expressing his unworthiness in this verse. He is very humble and is praying to Sri Krishna to look at Him. ‘He is very merciful, so He will gaze mercifully at me.’ His eyes are ‘lilâyitabhyam’, meaning, ‘He is extremely sportive and His eyes reflect that quality’. ‘Rasa-shitala-abhyam’ means ‘eyes that are soothing due to shringâr-ras. ‘Neel-arunabhyam’ means, ‘the pupils naturally bear a bluish tinge, but now He has just woken from sleep, so the eyes are slightly reddish, hence they are looking wonderfully dalliant.’ The poet wants to say – “Even if I am not lucky enough to obtain His merciful glance, may He be visible to me when He casts His eyes in sport elsewhere.” 45.