Verse 5

Translation

Whose lotus-face is most captivating with very sweet nectarine smile, Whose enchanting hairdo is adorned with intoxicated peacock-feathers – may That large–eyed marvellous Brilliance (Govinda) eternally manifest in my carnivorous heart that covets the poisonous sense-gratification.5.

rila Kavirâj Goswâmipâd is first explaining the inner meaning arising from Sri Lilâshuk’s meditation in siddha swarup. Srila Lilâshuk’s sweet bhâv was inspired even more. He said to his friends – “O Sakhis! May this wonderful indescribable Brilliance be ever manifested in my heart. (Here too, ‘Brilliance’ refers to the resplendent Sri Krishna full of lâvanya). “Dear sakhi”, you may say, “what is the use of remembering Sri Krishna whose only job is to cause grief?”  The poet replies – “You are right, but what do I do?  My heart is not in my control.  My heart is “vishay–visha–âmisha–grasana–gridhnu” – which means – it is carnivorous and covets the poisonous sense-gratification! Why does the poet call his heart ‘carnivorous’? The ordinary explanation would be: ‘Carnivorous’ means ‘meat-eater’. Meat is a forbidden food. Similarly, material enjoyments are forbidden for a devotee. So meat and material pleasure are synonymous here. The poet’s heart is engrossed in objects of sensual pleasure. He calls such objects as ‘âmish’ or ‘meat’ (which is hateful). Hence he describes his heart as ‘carnivorous’. However Srila Kavirâj Goswâmi does not buy the idea of Sri Lilâshuk being materialistic. He has explained this beautifully. He says –

“O friends! Let me open my heart to you. First of all, I shall tell You about ‘vishay’ (material objects). ‘Vishay’ is that which appears so very sweet and thus keeps our honeybee like mind in bondage. Who else is such a ‘vishay’ other than Sri Krishna? This vishay (Sri Krishna) torments us in the same way as vish (poison) tortures the body.  Hence, it is also venomous. Dear sakhis, you may say, when it burns like poison, why are you obsessed with it?  Well, my reply is that, it is as tempting as forbidden food¹ (since anything that is forbidden is more tempting). Hence, once addicted, we cannot give it up easily. This source of ‘vishay-vish’ (Shyâmsundar) is so attractive that if our heart is ever attracted by Him, He immediately devours it. My heart is so weak that it is for ever dragged by the forbidden fruit of ‘vishay-vish’, that is Sri Krishna.”

The sweet love of Vraja devis is a mixture of nectar and torture. In spite of being sweet, it causes untold anguish. It is as delicious as nectar, at the same time, it is as tormenting as poison. Analytically speaking, even the agony is delicious.  This torment arises from love.  Love is a property of Hlâdini–shakti or the Blissful potency of Krishna. Therefore, when love is the cause of this torment, then undoubtedly, it will be blissful! Actually, this suffering is the ripened form of intense bliss. Let us consider an example – if we hold a piece of ice for a long time, we feel a burning sensation as if we have touched fire. But is there any fire?  Instead, we have touched ice that is opposite of fire. Hence, we find that too much cold is causing the sensation of burning due to fire. In the same way, extremely intense blissful love is the source of agony. In the drama Vidagdha–Mâdhav, Sri Pournamâsi Devi is describing the nature of love to Sri Nândimukhi –

“O beautiful one! In whosever heart, the love for Sri Nanda-Nandan (Krishna) awakens, she realises clearly the power of crooked yet sweet love. This love inflicts a torment in front of which bitter and freshly prepared concentrated venom appears harmless. On the other hand, it is so blissful that it puts the sweetness of nectar to shame.”

Sriman-Mahâprabhu has relished this excruciating bliss of sweet love in Gambhirâ pastimes –

“eimoto dine dine, swarup – râmânanda – sane,

nija bhab koren bidito,

bahye bisha – jwala hoy, bhitore anandamoy,

krishna premar adbhut chariot.”

“Daily, He expressed His bhâv in the association of Swarup–Dâmodar and Râmânanda Roy. Externally He felt the torment of consuming poison while internally He was blissful. How extraordinary is Krishna–prem!”

“ei premer asvadan, tapta – ikshu – charban,

mukh jwale, na jay tejan.

ei prema jar mone, tanr bikram sei jane,

bishamrite ekatra milan.”

“The relish of this love is like that of hot sugarcane juice. The mouth burns but it is so enjoyable you cannot leave it. One who has felt this love alone will know its power. It is a combination of poison and nectar.”          

-(C.C. – Madhya.2.44-45)

The Gopi says – “O sakhi! An insect cannot resist the temptation of the fire in spite of being consumed by its flames. I too don’t mind being devoured by the flame–like Sri Krishna, but I shall not give up being tempted by His beauty.” 

Sriman-Mahâprabhu says –

“Fire attracts insects towards itself by displaying its brilliance, and then kills it. Similarly Krishna pulls our minds by exhibiting His fascinating qualities, and then flings us in the ocean of grief.”

 – (C.C- .Madhya.2.24)