Verse 36

Translation

Alas! Alas! How You are scorching my heart with Your indescribable mischievous, alluring, mesmerizing rosy lips and by the exultant resonance of Your flute! .36.

rila Kavirâj Goswâmipâd has explained this verse in the mood of Vraja. He says that Sri Râdhârâni has attained the state of divine madness because of Sri Krishna–viraha. She is constantly remembering how Sri Krishna had sent Her to the sanket-kunja with His eye-signal. In this state, She felt as if Sri Krishna has appeared in front of Her and He is saying – the memory of the past has agitated Your mind. How can You blame me for this? Sri Râdhâ became more anxious when She heard these teasing words. In this frame of mind, she is complaining to Sri Krishna. Sri Lilâshuk is echoing her sentiments in this verse.

Srila Rupa Goswâmi has defined ‘unmâd’ (Divine lunacy) as follows –

“The learned men call it ‘unmâd’ when the person suffering from it makes grave blunders in all situations, shows ill-will towards his loved one and sighs deeply. He expresses the pangs of separation.” – [U.N.]

Sri Rupa Goswâmi has described Sri Râdhârâni’s ‘unmâd’ during purva-râg as follows.

One day during purva–râg (actual meeting of Râdhâ-Krishna) Vishâkhâ showed Sri Râdhârâni a picture of Sri Krishna. When She saw it, She became absent minded. When Her sakhis questioned Her She replied – O my friends! A handsome youth sporting peacock feathers on His chudâ, and as brilliant as an emerald, was staring at me from that picture. It seemed as if He was coming out of that picture, smiling at me. Ohh! The moonlight is scorching me like fire and I feel the fire as cool as moonlight.”

The moonlight kindles passion. Hence, it appears like fire, while the sweetheart wants to die by entering the fire and thus gain peace, so the fire appears to be as cool as moonlight.

The Mahâjan has described the ‘unmâd’ of Sri Râdhâ, when She suffers from viraha, in the following manner-

“phagune ganaite gunagan tor,

phuti kusumito bhelo kanana or.

phuladhanu lei kusuma shararaj,

phukari roye dhani parihari lâj.

phukari koholun hari ithe nahi chhanda,

pheri na herobi rai mukha chanda.

phorala duhun koro marakata balai,

pharala nayana saghana jala galai.

phuyala kabari sambari nahi bandhe,

phani-pati-daman boli ghana kande.

phutala hridaya nidarunaleho,

phutakarahi dhani tejaba deha.

pheri na herobi sahachari brinda,

phalaba ki na bujhala dâs gobinda.”

Meaning – “It was the month of Phâlgun (spring season) and the garden was loaded with flowers. Oh how I miss You! The Love-god is poised with his flower-tipped arrows and You are not here! In this manner the Precious One (Srimati Râdhârâni) was wailing unembarrassed. She was saying loudly, “I tell You, there is no pleasure for me here. Now You will never get to see Râi’s face again (She will die in Your absence).” Then She broke Her emerald-studded bangles, since they reminded Her of Shyâm. She shed such torrential tears that they got torn off. Her hair that the sakhis had tied with flowers, loosened and She could not control it. She only repeated the name of Phanipati-daman^[1] and lamented. Her heart ripped in love for Her Mohan. The Precious One declared She would forsake Her body and that Her sakhis would never see Her again. Poet Govinda dâs is worried whether this will really happen.”

In this ‘unmâd’ state, Sri Râdhârâni is feeling as if She is seeing Sri Krishna in front of Her, and She is saying – You Cheat ! I am forever feeling as if I can see Your rosy lips that seem to be sending me some silent message. You may say that it is my mistake. But I am not mistaken. I am really seeing You. (‘anena’ indicates actually seeing).

Sri Krishna may tell Her – ‘If You are really seeing that I am sending You silent messages, then please proceed towards the flower-grove.’ To this, Srimati replied – ‘Your rosy lips are such that no one can make out whether one is really seeing them or is mistaken. They are like a mirage. They only steal our hearts and we achieve nothing in return. ’.

Sri Krishna’s sweetness is indeed very strange. The thirstier you are, the more you will relish, and the more you relish, the thirstier you become! This love-thirst is never satisfied. You may relish Sri Krishna’s sweetness forever and ever and yet you feel as if you have not tasted anything. Relishing Sri Krishna’s sweetness is like seeing a fantasy!

Srimati also said, ‘the strain of Your flute is making my heart weep. Its rich melody is scorching and agitating my heart! You can never understand how much I am suffering. Alas! Alas! How I am burning! You happy lady-killer! You are never afraid of murdering women, are You?’

In the siddha state, Sri Lilâshuk said, O Krishna! Your rosy lips are a mirage; the rich melody of Your flute is mâyâ (illusion) since although it is alluring it only scorches the heart. We, who are in the sweet mood of Vraja, cannot understand whether Your sweetness is nectarine or poisonous.

“bâhye bish-jwâlâ hoy, bhitare ânandamoy

krishna – premer adbhut charit.”

Meaning – “Sri Krishna’s sweetness makes the devotee burn externally, but his heart fills with bliss. Such is the strange property of Krishna-prem”.

In the sâdhak state, Sri Lilâshuk is saying that –

In this world, people are full of tension when they face cold, heat, hunger, thirst etc. They are sad when they are separated from their dear ones. However, Lilâshuk has no relation with the material world and therefore he is not worried of material calamities. He is beyond all mundane joy and sorrow. He considers even Mukti (liberation) as worthless. Now he only wants to become Sri Krishna’s servant and is greedy to behold His holy feet. When he has Sri Krishna’s darshan, he is happy. When he cannot see Him, he is sad. All day and night, he is immersed in relishing Sri Krishna’s sweetness. When he cannot see Him, he remembers the sweetness of every part of Sri Krishna’s body and he is agitated. His sorrow is made up of prem-ras. Hence, even this sorrow is infinitely blissful!

Srila Bhatta Goswâmipâd has explained, Srila Lilâshuk is swinging between joy and sorrow. Sometimes he is happy due to Leelâ–Kishor Sri Krishna’s darshan and sometimes he is sad because of His disappearance. His joyous mind is telling his sorrowful mind to wait patiently for His merciful glance. O mind! Why are you sad? He has said ‘Hâ hanta! Hâ hanta!’ (alas! alas!) twice. This means he is extremely sad. When we get His darshan in meditation, we get so much bliss that we cannot compare even infinitesimal portion of it with any other happiness. It is inexpressible, indescribable.

We cannot compare divine joy and sorrow to anything material. In Sri Brihad–Bhâgavatâmritam, we find that Sri Gopakumâr, the loving devotee is telling Janasharmâ –

“O Janasharmâ! I used to cry in distress and call out ‘O my Lord!’ most piteously. All day and night. I have spent a long time in this manner. I did not realize whether I did this to obtain joy or immense sorrow. I could never decide whether I was living inside a scorching forest fire or whether inside the supremely sweet, clean and cool water of the Yamunâ. Sometimes I would feel as if Madan-Gopâl had cheated me. Therefore, all happiness would desert me and I would feel extremely sad.”

Really, a loving devotee’s life is full of such divine joy and sorrow. It is as if sometimes he is in brightness and the next moment he is cast in the dark!

The poet feels as if he has seen ‘adheera-vimba-adhara-vibhramena’ – His rosy lips quivering while playing the flute.

How is Sri Krishna’s flute?

It is ‘harsha-ârdra-venu-swara-sampada-cha’, which means – its melody is ras-full and joyous. It is rich with the six notes and 22 Shrutis. Hence, it is supremely captivating.

Srila Chaitanyadâs Goswâmipâd has explained –

Sri Lilâshuk is saying -“O Adheera (Restless One)! You are agitating me with the illusion of Your rosy lips! You are so captivating that I cannot describe it. The strain of Your flute is rich with mellifluous notes (sweet tune). Therefore, it is heart stealing. 36.