Verse 38

Translation

O Vibho! Before I am overcome by death, please enable me to behold Your moon-like face, which is the pleasure ground for lâvanya and the flute plays close to it.38.

hen Sri Râdhâ entered the state of ‘moha’, She feared she would die. Therefore, She started praying to Sri Krishna in all humility. Sri Lilâshuk has echoed Her prayer in this verse. In bhakti ras, the devotee never really dies due to viraha. When the beloved suffers the pangs of viraha, she only appears to die; hence we call this state as ‘mriti’ or death.

Explanation for ‘mriti’ or death

“At first Sri Râdhâ sends various messages to Sri Krishna through Her sakhis stating how much She is suffering in love. In spite of this, if he does not meet Her, unable to bear the pain of separation any more, she prepares Herself for death. She distributes all Her favourite things amongst Her friends and strongly feels the presence of bumble bees, soft breeze, moon and the Kadamba tree.” – (U.N.)

The following is the proof–

“When Pournamâsi Devi enquired about Sri Râdhâ, Sri Vrindâ replied, ‘O Devi! Râdhâ placed Her grand diamond necklace in Lalitâ’s hands, and embracing a flowering Malli creeper on the banks of the Yamunâ, She fainted. Her dear sakhis carried Her to a Kadamba garden that is buzzing with bees and they are singing Harinâm to keep Her alive’.”- (U.N.)

Srila Vishwanâth Chakravartipâd has explained this verse from U.N. in his Ânanda–Chandrikâ purport as follows.

“Why did Sri Râdhâ embrace the Malli creeper that She had planted with the Her own hands on the banks of the Yamunâ? It is because She wanted to say ‘O my dear Malli! Now I am about to leave this world. My sakhis will water you daily and you will yield beautiful flowers. When those flowers will be knit into a garland and embrace the bosom of He–Who–is–difficult–to-obtain (Krishna) then I will gain happiness through you.’

Why did Sri Râdhâ place the necklace in Lalitâ’s hands and not round her neck? It is because Srimati was suffering very much from the pangs of viraha and Her thick, long hair was all dishevelled. She tried to take off Her necklace but it was caught in Her hair and She found it difficult to remove it. Therefore, She just tore off the string and handing it to Lalitâ, said, Dear Lalite! Please wear this necklace in my memory and embrace Krishna forever and ever.”

When Srimati faints, Her sakhis sing the nectarine Krishna –nâm and thus keep Her alive.

The saint poet Shashi Shekhar dâs has described Srimati’s ‘mriti’ as follows –

“(Srimati is saying -) I was so tempted by His soothing form that I gave up all my honour and dignity. Now if He deserts me, what is the point in living? Dear sakhi, please give me some poison so I may die.

My dear sakhis, why are you crying? Listen, when I die you do as I tell you. Don’t put me in the water nor place me on the pyre, but keep my body carefully in Vraja. Tie both my hands tightly to a branch of the shyâm (dark) Tamâl-tree. Then you come to see me everyday at dawn, after rising from your beds. Dear sakhis please remember this wretched Râi in all events. Lalitâ, take this pearl necklace and wear it as my remembrance. Vishâkhâ, my sakhi, please accept my bangles and Indurekhâ take my ring. Take my nose-jewelleries, O Chitrâ, and O pure-hearted Sudevi, please wear my long earrings in your ears.

Saying this, She (Râdhârâni) distributed all Her ornaments amongst Her sakhis. Poet Shashi Shekhar says – I am heart-broken and am beating my chest and head in grief.”

Thus, we find that the beloved only prepares for death. Srimati is saying, until the last moment may I continue to see Your moon-like face. I am sure I will die some day, but, if I die beholding Your moon-like face it is worthwhile. Otherwise, I shall consider myself unlucky. If You say – why are You so anxious? Have patience, You will see me at the proper time. I reply – If I die just now, then how and when will I behold Your moon–like face? Sri Râdhâ felt as if Krishna was telling Her – If You are certain You’ll die anyway, what does it matter whether You see me or not ?

Therefore, She anxiously replied –

‘Lâvanyanang keli-sadanam’ – if I don’t get to relish the wonderful nectarine beauty of Your moon-like face, it is not worth living.

“The blissful face of Govinda is the pleasure-house of lâvanya and is a delight to the eyes.”

– (Sri Chaitanya-Charitâmrita – Madhya.21.110)

Moreover, utkvanita-venu-mukhendu- vimbam – You hold the sweet sounding flute to Your sweet face – if I cannot behold Your sweet radiant face with the sweet sounding flute held close to it before I die, then I will consider that death worthless.

Actually when a devotee is very much full of Sri Krishna’s sweetness inside and outside, even if he wishes for death, he does not die.

Once when Srimati was preparing to die in viraha, Sri Lalitâ told Her, “My dear Râdhe! You have decided to die. We would not mind at all if You would be happy by dying. But will Your suffering end on death? You know very well ‘ya matih saiva gatih’ (You will get that what you think of while dying). If You die, thinking of Krishna, even in the next life You will continue to cry for Krishna. If You can forget Krishna and then die, You will attain peace. However, You are ‘Krishnamayee’ that is, You have Krishna within and without. Krishna traverses Your whole being; hence, it is impossible for You to forget Krishna. I have heard from Devi Pournamâsi and Nândimukhi that if we worship the Impersonal Brahman, the heart becomes devoid of love. Therefore, if You can meditate on Brahman, You will not suffer any more and You don’t have to cry for Krishna in either this life or the next. But I don’t know the process of Brahman-meditation. Vishâkhâ is an expert in all these things, it is better You learn from her.”

Then Vishâkhâ seated Srimati on an âsan and started the training. The more Vishâkhâ told Her about the Impersonal Brahman, the more Srimati expressed goose bumps and manifested all the symptoms of ecstasy such as tears, and shivering. Vishâkhâ told Her, ‘Why Râdhe! I can see all the symptoms of ecstasy in You! You are supposed to concentrate on Brahman with a mind emptied of all feelings, and instead You are showing all the signs of devotional ecstasy!’

Sri Râdhâ replied with a voice choked with love, ‘My dear Vishâkhâ! The more You are telling me about the Impersonal Brahman, the more my mind is being full of the ever beautiful, ever sweet form of Sri Krishna resembling the fresh clouds, the crest-jewel of all rasik. The more I try to forget Him, the more my body, senses and innermost consciousness are full of the form of that Shringâr Rasarâj (the Chief of erotic ras)! Sakhi, I have realized that I cannot forget Shyâm. All hopes of death are dashed to the ground.’

The loving devotees do not wish to die for they are afraid of being separated from Sri Krishna. When the terrible forest-fire threatened to destroy all the Brijwâsis, they prayed to Sri Krishna –

“O All-powerful Krishna! Please protect all Your relatives and friends from this terrible fire, Your sacred feet relieve one of all fear, and we cannot forsake them.”

-(Srimad-Bhâgavatam 10.17.29)

In siddha state, Sri Lilâshuk said in the mood of Sri Râdhâ’s sakhi – “until death, may I behold Your moon-like face, that is the pleasure-house of lâvanya, playing on the flute, and in the mood of dispatching Sri Râdhâ to the flower grove”.

As for the sâdhak, we would like to say that although very loving devotees do wish to die out of Sri Krishna-viraha, but their wish is never granted because one obtains Sri Krishna by prem and not just by dying. Sri Bhagavân never approves of wishful dying whether in the case of a sâdhak devotee or siddha devotee.

Sanâtan Goswâmi, who is Sriman-Mahâprabhu’s eternal associate, was depressed and wanted to die under the wheels of Sri Jagannâth’s chariot, but Mahâprabhu told him –

“O Sanâtan! If I could obtain Krishna just by giving up this body, then I would gladly give up crores of bodies in a single moment. However, we cannot obtain Krishna just by dying, for this we have to perform bhajan. There is no way to obtain Krishna other than practicing pure devotion. Only the ignorant people commit suicide. You cannot obtain Krishna by resorting to ignorance or passion. We cannot attain prem without resorting to pure devotional path and there is no way to obtain Krishna other than prem. If the sâdhak kills himself, it will only show his ignorance and cause him to fall down spiritually. He will never obtain Krishna’s lotus feet. Sometimes a loving devotee wants to die because of viraha, but he knows that he will get Krishna only by prem, so he cannot die.”

– (Sri Chaitanya-Charitâmrita – Antya.4.54-59)

(contd….)