On hearing this song, Priyāji was overwhelmed with blissful prem. The depth of sakhi Amitā’s Gour-prem mesmerized her. She had no word to express her gratitude. Priyāji’s eyes became premānanda personified -they were radiating so much loveliness! Restraining her tears, she hugged Amita with one hand; and placed the other hand under her chin. With a love-choked voice she said, “Sakhi! I wish I had even one drop of the fathomless Gour-prem that you possess! Ahh! How blessed would I have felt! You see the world Gour-full, wherever you gaze, you see Gour-vision, yes? When will I be so fortunate? “Priyāji then turned to Kanchanā and cried, “Tell me Kanchane! Like Amitā, if I too would have been so blessed to get Gour-darshan everywhere and in everything, then would your Nadiyā-nāgar Nabadweepchandra still remain in Neelāchal?” Speaking thus, Priyāji hid her face in her dear friend Kanchanā’s lap and started sobbing. Now Kanchanā could keep silent no more. The song of Gour-beauty and Gour-glory rang out musically from her sweet voice.
Yathā rāg
gour he !
(taba) roop heri jobe, sādh hoy mone,
(jodi) sarbendriya ānkhi hoto,
āmi porān bhoriyā, roop nirakhiyā,
pāitām such koto.
(taba) gun shuni jobe, mone bhābi āmi,
(jodi) sarbendriya hoto kān,
porān bhoriyā guna-gāthā shuni,
jurāto mor prān.
(taba) gun gahi jobe, mone hoy mor,
(jodi ) sarbendriya hoto jihbā,
moner sādhete gāhitām gun,
uchchaihsware nishi dibā.
(taba) shonār ange, moh moh kore,
satata padma gandha,
mone bhābi āmi indriya sakali,
(keno) hoy nā nāsikā randhra?
(taba) sri anga mādhuri, parasho lālase,
(jabe) twak hoy lālāyito,
mone bhābi āmi, sarbendriya jodi
twake hoto parinoto.
(āmi) porān bhoriyā anga ālingiyā,
judātām hrdi jwālā,
sob such bhuli parasher sukhe,
hoitām āmi bholā.
(āmi) such nāhi pāi, ekendriyo sebe,
tomār mādhuri rāshi,
ekoi samaye, sarabo indriyā
bād sādhe keno āshi?
āmi ei bor chāi, ekendriya dwāre,
(jobe) anubhabi taba sanga,
(mor) anyendriyo, rodh kore diye,
(tumi) koro mor sane ranga.
sarbendriyo diye, ekoi samaye,
sebā nāhi korā jay,
apuron rohe hridoyer sādh,
(mor) jay nāko hāy hāy !
sarbendriyo mor, ek hoye jāk,
(āmi) je sebā jokhon kori,
haridāsiyār jeebonero sādh,
purāo gourahari.
Meaning – O Gour, when I behold your gorgeous beauty I wish all my organs would become eyes so that I could see you to my heart’s content and go mad in ecstasy. When I hear your excellences I wish all my organs would transform into ears so that your glory would soothe my heart. When I sing your glory I wish all my organs would become tongues so that I could loudly glorify you all day and night. Your golden form is agog with the fragrance of lotuses – O why don’t all my organs transform into nostrils? You are so gorgeous that I crave to touch you – O why do all my organs not become skin so that I could embrace your sweet self? I would be so immersed in bliss that I would have forgotten everything else.
Your sweetness is so immense that I am not contented to relish it with one sense organ alone, since the moment I start savoring your sweetness, the other sense organs pose obstacle. When I behold your beauty, I am so spellbound that my tongue refuses to chant your sweet name. Similarly your fragrance enchants me such that I cannot keep my eyes open to take your darshan. Alas! It is impossible to serve you simultaneously with all the senses! Therefore I pray to you – please let me relish your loveliness to my heart’s content with at least one sense organ. Poet Haridāsi begs that let all her organs merge into the one that is serving you according your wish and pleasure, so that she may serve you to the fullest extent.[1] Please fulfill her wish.
Priyāji is still lying in Kanchanā’s lap. Darling Kanchanā! Her Gour-prem is so deep! Her Gour-anurāg is so serious! Priyāji was wonderstruck and full of premānanda. She lifted herself and most lovingly took both her sakhis in tight embrace. Her face was bathed in tears of prem. She hid her face in Kanchanā’s bosom and silently shed copious tears. She had lost all capacity to speak. Her tears flowed like the torrential rain in the month of Shrāvan and seemed to flood with Gour-prem the Gour-home that was now devoid of Gour.
We learn from Priyāji the manner of exclusive Bhajan, steadfast Bhajan, and the result of such deep Bhajan. Priyāji is revealing to us that, in Kaliyug our Bhajan has to be soaked in tears. However we must note that like Priyāji our tears have to be silent; we should not cry loudly and beat our chests. Our hearts must palpitate loudly and cry out silently in Gour-viraha. It should wrench in pain that will bring the pleasure of prem, just like tasting hot sugarcane juice.
Some moments passed in this manner. Although it was only evening time, the Mahāgambheerā Mandir of Nadiyā was silent. The servants, animals and birds were all expressing their solidarity with Priyāji in her viraha and assisting her in Aikāntiki Bhajan.
After a long time Priyāji controlled her feeling of Gour-viraha and gradually came to her external sense. Taking Kanchanā’s both hands in her own, she spoke very softly in a tear-choked voice. She cried in prem, “beloved sakhi Kanchane! You are the instructress of Gour-prem! From where did you learn such beautiful words? Why, I never knew such sweet bhāv before ! Today I learnt ātmanivedanam[2] from you. O sakhi! I choose you to be my Guru for Gour-prem. You took so much mercy on me and soothed my scorching heart by your sweet Gour-kathā. Had you not been so merciful I would have long ago drowned myself in the Gangā.”
Priyāji’s humility was such that Kanchanā started wondering what to reply. Instead of giving Kanchanā a chance to reply, Priyāji folded her palms and begged her to sing one more Gour-song. Kanchanā was visibly embarrassed. She said, “Sakhi! If you embarrass me in this manner I will not be able to do anything for you. I am merely your maid servant who does your bidding. Since you command me to sing, I shall obey you. Please listen.”
[1] For example, when we utter the sweet name of Gourasundar, we feel so blissful that we cannot keep our eyes open and take darshan. His loveliness stupefies All other organs too and they cannot function. Therefore the poet is praying, “ Dear Gourahari , please make all the organs merge into my tongue when I chant your Holy Name so that my tongue become s extremely powerful and it can serve you to the best of its capacity.”
[2] Total self-surrender