When Sri Râdhâ saw Shyâmsundar for the first time, She was equally overwhelmed. In the state of Purva-râg, Vishâkhâ-sakhi saw how much Sri Krishna’s flute had maddened Her and painted Sri Krishna’s picture for Her pleasure. But alas! As soon as Srimati saw the picture, Her divine lunacy doubled. When Lalitâ and Vishâkhâ asked her the reason, She moaned –

“Sakhi! He spread the brilliance of an emerald through His effulgence and donned a peacock-feather in His head; He Who is on the threshold of youth, came out of the picture, laughed at me and cast aside-long glances at me – this has maddened my intellect. Now the moon is appearing like fire to me and the fire seems as cool as the moonlight.”

At last She got actual darshan. How was this incident? Well, one day, Srimati went to bring water from the Yamunâ and She got His darshan. Since then, she could not rest in peace. The Mahâjan poet has sung –

“Binodini^[1] returned home after seeing Shyâm on the banks of the Yamunâ, and ever since all She did was to sit alone in a corner and drown Herself in a deluge of tears. She only sat and meditated on Shyâm’s beauty that is like a treasure-mine. She placed Her cheek on Her hand and meditated with so much concentration that She beat the greatest of Yoginis. Her eyes overflowed so much that they resembled the torrential monsoon in the month of Shrâvan.”

Sometimes She would step in and sometimes out. She looked as if She was possessed by some spirit. Indeed some van-dev^[2] (spirit residing in the woods) had caught hold of Her mind. How much ever She tried, She could not exorcise Him out of Her heart. He followed Her around like a shadow, yet would not come into Her grip. When the sakhi saw Her misery, she asked –

Râdhe, You are standing out of the house hundred times in a day! Every moment you are stepping in and stepping out. Your heart is so much agitated that You are keep on sighing heavily. All the while You are glancing at the Kadamba-forest.

O Râi! What made you like this? Do You not fear the evil elders? Which spirit did You see and where? You are constantly restless and cannot manage Your dress! You remain seated, and then all of a sudden You give a start! Your garment falls off! You are hardly in Your teens; moreover You are a princess; on top of that You belong to a decent family. I don’t understand why You are craving so much and for what. I feel You want to touch the moon which is impossible. Poet Chandidâs says – I guess the ‘Black-trap^[3]’ has ensnared You nicely.”

When Srimati heard her friend speak like this She started crying and said –

“O my darling sakhi! Why on earth did I go to the Yamunâ? That trickster playboy has cheated my heart out of me. My eyes drowned in His fathomless beauty, my heart got lost in His youth which is like a dense forest. What could I do?

The return journey seemed endless to me, and I felt as if my soul was breaking out from my heart that was shredded to pieces.

He donned a chandan tilak with a musk-dot in between, which is nothing but a noose that trapped my poor heart that was already dangling after seeing Him.

And that golden yellow robe that He drapes round His hips is too tempting – I don’t know what delight it holds! Truly, Brahmâji has planted a seed of notoriety^[4] on the banks on the Yamunâ. Now I am about to lose my caste, honor, decency – everything! And very soon I am going to become (in) famous in the whole world.

In spite of coming from such a decent family, I have brought sorrow to both – my parents as well as my in-laws. Poet Gyân dâs says – keep a firm reign on Your heart.”

In this manner, Srimati Râdhârâni has attained the dizzy heights of madness after seeing Him in dreams, paintings and in real life. Sometimes She laughs, sometimes She cries and at other times, stares at the clouds fixedly. At times, She opens out Her plait and gazes at Her thick hair. Occasionally She dons a red cloth like a Yogini. The Mahâjan poet says –

“What ails Râdhâ’s heart that She sits alone in a lonely corner and can not hear anything? She is always lost in Her own thoughts and stares fixedly at the clouds? At times – alas! – She dons a red robe – as if She is some great Yogini.

She loosens Her tresses, tears the flower garlands off Her braid and gazes at Her hair. She looks up laughingly at the moon, lifts Her arms and mutters to it. She stares and scrutinizes the neck of the peacocks. Poet Chandi dâs says – this is what happens when you get introduced to that Kâliyâ (Black-One).”

In fact, all the sakhis were in the same soup. Who would care for whom? Who could console whom? All of them were spending their days in the terrible pain of viraha. Everybody was suffering from the ‘dash-dashâ’ or the ten symptoms^[5] such as lâlasâ (intense craving), udveg (anxiety), jâgaryâ (sleeplessness)^[6] etc. Let us discuss them with definitions and examples from Ujjwal-Neelmani.

Lâlasâ

Definition – “When we hanker too much for the object of our desire, it is called ‘lâlasâ’. It is expressed through eagerness, restlessness, heavy breathing etc.”

Example – Vishâkhâ revealed Srimati Râdhârâni’s intense lâlasâ to Sri Krishna. She said – “Dear Shyâm, if Khanjanâkshi^[7] Râdhâ hears even one syllable of Your name in some remote context even from a far away distance, She screams and starts shivering. What more can I say – as soon as She sees a fresh cloud She rushes forward to embrace it, as if She were wishing She had wings !” – (Vidagdha-Mâdhav)

Udveg

Definition – “When the mind is restless, we call it anxiety’. It symptoms are sighing heavily, restlessness, stupefaction, worry, tears, paleness and perspiration.”

Example – Seeing Srimati Râdhârâni’s anxiety, Vishâkhâ asked – dear sakhi, are You so worried that Your self-control is being torn apart? Is Your pink dress wet with perspiration? O Champak-gouri^[8], are You shivering so much that You cannot remain still? Speak the truth! It is not good to conceal Your feelings from Your dear ones.” – (Vidagdha-Mâdhav)

Sleeplessness

Definition – “‘jâgaryâ’ is the state of sleeplessness. It results in lethargy, difficulty in breathing and illness.”

Example – During purva-râg Srimati Râdhârâni suffered so much in viraha that Vishâkhâ could not bear it. She was worrying about how to make Her meet Sri Krishna. Sri Râdhâ told Vishâkhâ – “Dear Vishâkhe, my sakhi, called ‘Sleep’, gave me a glimpse of a dark-complexioned person in a brilliant golden yellow robe and has forsaken me for ever^[9] and has not returned since then. Therefore, my dear friend, please try some means to bring my sleep back, since without sleep I cannot dream, and without dreaming, how will I see That cheat?”

Srila Vishwanâth Chakravartipâd has explained the above example as follows –

Srimati Râdhârâni is saying – “Please find out some medicine or mantra that will make me sleep. I am a woman of honorable family and so it is not easy for me to meet Him. On the other hand, I will not survive without His darshan. Hence the only safe way to see Him is in a dream. To get a dream, I have to first sleep. This is the only way You can save my life.”

In this manner Srimati Râdhârâni manifests the other seven symptoms also to the maximum degree. If She cannot meet Govinda by any means, the pain of ‘madan–bân^[10]’ becomes too painful for Her and She comes close to death. Then She surrenders Her dear objects to the sakhis and She gets the feeling of the black-bee, fragrant breeze, moonlit nights and the Kadamba.

(to be contd…….)