Radhe Radhe!

This was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making a trip to India.

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who demonstrate tolerance and an excellent sense of humor.

Q : Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street?( USA )
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tues day night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A: You’re a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A: No, WE don’t stink in India.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather in India.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas in Goa.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first to speak properly.

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper but we have different grades for you to chose.

Have a nice Day

Anthony Gonzalves